Separate spaces for today's couples


You may find a new option in homes being built by you, catering to improved comfort for couples. It's not uncommon to find dual master bedroom suites to accommodate couples who can't compromise in the bedroom. These solitary retreats help ensure a good night's sleep or give couples some personal space.

A 2005 survey by the National Sleep Foundation uncovered that nearly 25 percent of American couples sleep alone. The number was almost double of the percentage of solo sleepers from merely four years prior. The Sleep Council of England has found that 1 in 4 people regularly heads to another room or the living room couch to escape his or her sleeping partner and get some rest.

The desire for separate spaces has begun to affect home construction. The National Association of Home Builders says there has been a steady increase in the number of requests for two-master bedroom homes since 1990, prompting the organization to predict that by 2015, 60 percent of all custom upscale homes will be built with two "owner suites."

1950s Mentality or Modern Revolution?

When many people envision separate sleeping arrangements for married couples, they think of the popular sitcoms of the 1950s. In these shows, separate twin beds with a night table between them were the norm. It was considered risquee to show a couple sharing a bed. But many couples today are choosing to sleep in separate beds or separate rooms for a number of reasons:

* snoring

* restless leg syndrome

* night owl vs. early bird

* different preferences in linens

* different preferences in room temperatures

* TV watcher vs. book reader

* caring for new baby without disturbing the other, etc.

Some people say that it's not good for the marriage to sleep separately, offering that sharing a bed takes intimacy to a different level. However, Stephanie Coontz, author of "Marriage: A History" and director of research and public education at the Council on Contemporary Families, a nonprofit research organization has said that sleeping separately in order to get a good night's rest is "reasonable and revolutionary." She offers that there are more ways to have a good marriage and sexual relationship today. If sleeping separately is the way to that end, then so be it.

Come Over to My Place

Couples who support separate sleeping arrangements say that it's fun to invite over their spouse for "date night" and find creative ways to get together. And when well rested, they're happier and more inclined to want to spend time together or with the children.

In a report by CNN, Alisa Bowman, a 37-year-old freelance writer from Emmaus, Pennsylvania, offered, "I'm a better mom and wife when I'm rested," who says she's always had trouble sleeping with another person in the room. "I also think it makes you appreciate each other more."

Renovating Your Home

If you are not moving to a home that offers separate master bedroom suites you can create personalized spaces if you prefer to sleep separately. If your master bedroom is large enough, perhaps you can divide the room into two spaces, even if it's with modular room dividers. Empty nesters may have the advantage of one or more other bedrooms to call his or her own. Flip a coin over who gets the bigger room. Then each can personalize the room according to his or her style.

For those who don't have a problem sharing the same space, only prefer separate beds, then go ahead and renovate with two beds in the room. They can always be pushed together if you desire closeness.