Welcoming a New Baby to the Family Helping Siblings With the Transition


The average family in the U.S. has roughly two children, but it may be times are changing.

Census data from 1976 indicated that 59 percent of women ages 40 to 44 had three or more children, 20 percent had five or more and 6 percent had seven or more. In 2006, the last available year for census data, 28 percent of women ages 40 to 44 had three or more children, 4 percent had five or more and just 0.5 percent had seven or more.

Even though the percentages have lowered over this 30-year span, the media is bringing to the forefront more families who are embracing a bigger-is-better lifestyle.

Just take a look at the range of programming on television. You can find shows about sextuplets and families with 18 children. Additionally, Nadya Suleman, dubbed the "octomom," made headlines when she delivered her octuplets, who joined her family of six other children. Hollywood starlet Angelina Jolie is also a proponent of a happy, larger brood. She and partner Brad Pitt currently have a combination of six adoptive and biological children, and are interested in adopting more.

Regardless of personal feelings on larger families, having multiple children changes the family dynamic. Parents should learn strategies on how to introduce and prepare their children for the addition of a new baby. It's not uncommon for youngsters to feel threatened by the arrival of a new sibling. A child may question whether their parents will still love him or her, and whether there will still be time to share together. To address these concerns and more, here are steps to make the expansion of the family go more smoothly.

Keep communication flowing: When you decide you're going to inform children you are pregnant, present it in a way that will explain what a new brother or sister will mean to your family. Ask your children's opinions and answer any concerns they may have.

Read books together: There are many titles that address feelings of inadequacy or explain the process of a new baby. These books will be tailored to children's level of awareness and education and can present the concept in terms they'll understand.

Explain what is going on in your body: Inquisitive children will want explanations as to why your body is changing. A visit to the obstetrician's office, where there may be charts and diagrams, can help call out the parts of the body. You may have to explain your delicate state and how a baby is growing inside.

Provide plenty of reassurance: Tell your other children constantly that you love them and will still be available for them despite the new baby.

Ask for help: Young children often enjoy being Mom or Dad's special helper. Assign baby-related tasks to other children, such as stocking diapers, filling baby bottles, helping to fold baby clothes, etc. Put emphasis on the fact that you need the help and that baby appreciates it from his or her big brother or sister.

Buy a special gift: A T-shirt that says "Big Brother" or "Big Sister" or something that your child always wanted can help placate mixed feelings about a baby that will soon be hogging everyone's attention for the time being. Although it will be difficult in the early months with sleepless nights, schedule one-on-one time with the other children to express your gratitude and love for them.